Divorce Dos and Don’ts

familyA divorce is an unusually stressful and difficult time for all involved. Each spouse may at times be tempted to act in a less than rational or appropriate manner.

Please read through the following list of common sense “do’s and dont’s” carefully and refer to it as often as necessary:

  1. DO follow all court orders exactly. Do not unilaterally disobey the order simply on the basis you do not agree with it. Call me and we will discuss what action can be taken to modify the order.
  2. DO keep a brief daily diary as a record of events as your case is pending. As I mentioned above, this is a stressful time and you may find it difficult to reconstruct from memory the events of the day before, let alone the same event six months down the line.
  3. DO NOT make unilateral financial or child-related decisions without consulting with me regarding legal impact.
  4. DO NOT alienate the children from their other parent. Children need to love both parents regardless of how the parents feel about each other.
  5. DO NOT discuss your marital problems with the children. Remember, you are an adult with an adult’s resources to handle stress; they are children, with only a child’s capacity to deal with conflict. Urging a child directly or indirectly to take on your negative feelings may have long-term negative consequences.
  6. DO pick up the children and return them or have them ready for pick up at the time agreed upon when you and your spouse have physical placement rights. Be sure that any changes in court-ordered placement schedules occur by mutual agreement